Prejudice and Poverty

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Today I had an interesting experience... I was being discriminated against because I was "poor". I took my son's car to get gas and drove it around to do some errands.  I had several people honk their horns at me, several cut me off, and several gave me less than loving looks.  For the life of me I could not figure out what was going on... and then it hit me!  I realized that I was driving an old (15 years old) , dull car that has a few dings and scrapes.  I was not in my top of the line, fairly new Cadillac that I keep relatively clean.
In keeping with this same treatment, I pulled up to the gas pump, rolled down my window and proceeded to get out my credit card when the attendant said quite bruskly "What do you want?"  I don't think that in my entire life a gas station attendant had spoken to me like that.  I usually hear "What can I get for you or what would you like or can I help you ,but WHAT DO YOU WANT??!   It was then that I realized that it was the car that was causing this lack of respect. (that and the fact that I went out with an old sweatshirt on).  Oh, did I mention that when I gave my credit card to the attendant that he looked at it front and back to make sure that it was valid.  After all, someone of my lower class could not be trusted right!  Well, needless to say, I think we make a lot of misjudgements and those rooted in prejudices are not very becoming.  I'm sorry to say, I am guilty as well. Although I still want to drive around in my lovely new car, I will be non-judgemental when I see someone driving in a beat up low end model.  Although it seems fitting that a starving college student be driving such a car, many of my son's friends have cars that arrived on their doorstep from the showroom right after their high school graduation... now that I can be judgemental about.

Christmas Simplicity

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Christmas season is now in full swing!  TV ads, Radio ads, newspaper ads, all incessantly shouting
"BUY"!  Merchant coupons and catalogs are flooding the mailbox.  How enticing it all is!   I find myself frequenting the stores that I've tried to avoid in order to save money these past few months and my credit cards are getting a workout.  I KNOW that I am spending much more money than I should be spending.  I KNOW that the true meaning of Christmas is not about how much money I spend on gifts, but is rather about the important things such as faith, family and friends.  It's just that we (most of us) have been trained to believe that more presents under the tree equals more comfort and joy!    But as the song whispers to our souls in words that ring true, "God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay...remember Christ our Saviour was  born on Christmas day... Oh tidings of comfort and joy!"
Let us bask in the comfort and in the joy and always remember that there is only ONE reason for the existence of the Christmas spirit ... of course the retailers will tell you otherwise.

The "To Do List"

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Many of us have the proverbial "to do" list somewhere in our possession.. either on a piece of paper that we keep in a "very special" place or somewhere on our computer or on some other PDA device.   An interesting concept that I recently learned from my 90 year old mother is that instead of having a "to do" list, make a "things I did today" list.  My mother keeps this list because she wants to assist her memory.  I made one of these lists to assist my perception of my productivity and realize everything I CAN do in ONE day. It is pretty empowering!   I feel like a genius! *see link below
At a time in my life when I have been forced into semi-retirement due to the economy, I still need to know that I am a productive individual making a contribution to family and society.
Here is a sample of one of my recent "things I did today" lists.
Woke up, (6am) made coffee, emptied out the dishwasher, fed the dog, sorted 3 loads of laundry and put a load of laundry in the washer, made a sandwich and packed a lunch, took a shower, got dressed, drove my son to school, met some friends for breakfast, came home,went online to pay household bills, checked my e-mail, went into my office to work for 2 hours, drove to the post office to pick up mail, then to the drug store to purchase some sale items and then shopped at the supermarket for groceries. Came home and unpacked and put away all, completed the laundry, went back to work in my office for another 2 hours, checked my e-mail, began to scrape off the wallpaper in my dining room,  prepared dinner, ate dinner, put dishes in dishwasher, drove my son back to school, (8pm) came home and collapsed.
 Try making a list of things that you DID today!  You will AMAZE yourself.

http://whowritesforyou.com/2010/10/21/divide-your-attention-%e2%80%93-you-are-a-genius/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=divide-your-attention-%e2%80%93-you-are-a-genius

Dining - Out or IN

Image by Nemo's great uncle via Flickr

I've known this for quite some time... dining out is much more costly than eating at home.
The problem lies in the fact that sometimes we just need a change of scenery.  It's not just the food but it is the "event" as a friend once told me.  Going out for dinner is an event. One gets to "people watch" and taste some foods that are too expensive to make at home or, are just very different from the usual home fare.
    I recently went to one of my favorite local restaurants and had chicken with apples and walnuts.  It was a 22.95 special which I could make at home for less than 5.00 per person.  I had a glass of wine that night which was more costly than an entire bottle of a good but inexpensive wine.  So for sure, after the dinner and tip, my family and I were in the hole
for over 100.00... an amount that we could have dined at home on for about 10 days.  Now it is not impossible to find a place or two which may actually be less expensive than eating at home.
For example, a family run restaurant at the beach serves all-you-can-eat Prime Rib for 15.95.  It may be a wash but think of not having to clean any dishes with that heavy beef fat on them... yum AND yuk!
Oddly enough, the local Chinese buffet place has some items that would cost me more to make at home.. King Crab legs and Sushi being just a couple to mention... After all, the buffet is only 16.95 per person for dinner.  How can I possible eat all the coconut shrimp I want along with so many other delights and follow that with ice cream and fruit?  Can't.
Well, for now, I'm trying to stay out of the restaurants...that is until I open up one of my own.
People have to eat somewhere.

Live Simply

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Each day as I pull out of my driveway I view my neighbor's 18 yr old daughter's car with a bumper sticker on it that says "Live Simply" and I smile. It is a nice (however trite) motto that any 18 year old can quite easily accomplish. But for those of us who are embedded in decades of accumulating "stuff", living simply is not quite that easy.
Each time I see that bumper sticker I remind myself that I will have to do that someday, and I would like that "some"day to be sooner rather than later.  Of course, in order to "live simply" I need to eliminate many different "things" such as magazine subscriptions, gym memberships, a couple of houses, a few of the cars that I own and perhaps even some investments. The paperwork and the manpower and the brainpower needed to sustain all of these things is overwhelming.  I don't even have enough time to read all of the magazine subscriptions and newspapers that come into my home.
Unfortunately, I have a spouse who likes to "hold on to things".  He's not quite a hoarder but rather a "collector". The problem is that in doing so the cause and effect syndrome is STRESS and more STRESS! Furthermore, while keeping the junk along with the valuables, it is more time consuming to weed out the trash from the important things.... let alone the issue of storage.   My latest strategy is throwing out things that are exclusively mine.. therefore I am not trespassing. Hopefully when my family sees a sense of order and calm come over me, they may want to emulate it themselves...AAHH, HA ,HA ,HA!
Although leaving little bits of my past in some garbage dump is a painful thought, I do try to donate things that others may find useful... trying to expand that directive of living simply to "Live simply so that others may simply live".   We do have so, so much to be thankful for.

 

The Road Not Taken

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Oh how I wish there were a road here in NJ that I have not taken!  It seems as if all I do is jump in the car and drive here and there and everywhere.  But I'm not alone... no Siree! I have tons and tons of company whilst driving on the busy roadways.  My question is - How can everyone afford such a luxury?  This week the price of gasoline went up 12 cents per gallon in and around my neighborhood.  What is going on?  Is this just a gearing up for another holiday week-end to gouge the metropolitan drivers?  After all, why not rape the American consumer who is out to enjoy those Columbus Day sales?  Or what about those traveling to a recreational activity?  Let's just make it even more painful for them to save a buck.
Well, my only suggestion (and something that I will attempt to do myself) is STAY HOME and wait until the "Holiday" is over.  Maybe gasoline will shed the 12 cent increase.
I think I'll just do some work around the house and go for a nice long walk... if only, if only.

Air is Free (most of the time)

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I love the Fall.  As a matter of fact, Autumn is my favorite season.  I love the crisp cool air and the way the flowers are at their peak... especially the Impatiens.  I also have always loved the start of a new school year... yes, contrary to many kids, I adored school.  And today, even though I am only living vicariously through my son, I still feel the anticipation of a great and wonderful school year each September.
As much as others dislike Autumn because it heralds the start of cold, grey winter, I take it for what it's worth... a season where my hair won't frizz! It's also a time for delicious apples, harvest moons, brilliant fall foliage, and, a time for celebrating my birthday.  However, in this season of living with less money, I'm loving the Fall even more because the air in my home is free.  I don't have to "condition" it to make it cool, I don't have to heat it to make it warm, and I can open our windows to refresh everything that is closed up for most of the year. 
This year I will see how long I can go without turning on the heat.  I know I can do it, but the troops are not happy wearing sweaters and such in the house.  But right now I am enjoying the sound of silence... that is no a/c compressor starting and no furnace pumping up the steam.  The air is truly free.